i may or may not be watching the land before time
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
