There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
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I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
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Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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