I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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