you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
now i know why i became what i already was.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize