it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize