There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.