he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
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Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
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So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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