had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize