Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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