i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize