If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
