Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
