Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
