i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
