Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
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