He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
