My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
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the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
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Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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