I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
