So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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