She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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