Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize