im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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