Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
