she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Randomize