I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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