I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I wish I could teleport
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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