why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Go christen that room with your naked body.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
