I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I have aggressive nipples.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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