yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You're breaking my sexual little heart
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
