I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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