**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
high people should be assigned attendants
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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