I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
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yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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