I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
