shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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