herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Your penis caused this!
Randomize