Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods