I smell stomach acid.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?