You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.