I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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