There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
No...this little piggys going to the bar
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.