How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle