Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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