If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
