Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Michael Bay diarrhea
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
