after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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