I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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