and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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