Sry I called you an 8
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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