Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
