My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
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six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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