sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
