i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
