Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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