The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
